Men & Ear rings :P

I have often wondered how this trend got started, I now have the answer.


A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.

This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."


The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring, "he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"


"Ever since my wife found it in my car."

Naughty mind....High expectations

It was professor smith's first day at St. Johns medical college as a faculty. Known for his teaching excellence, he made his entry into a classroom of 1st year medical students, where he received a warm welcome from the students, followed by their intro.

To start with, he planned to put forth a question to the class. He said, "Well students, before we start off with today's lecture, let me ask you a simple question on human anatomy".

He gazed across the classroom, spotted a female student Suzie, and said, "Tell me Suzie, which part of the human body grows 10 times its original size when excited?"


Hearing this question, Suzie's face grew pale in embarrassment, she replied:" you should be ashamed to ask such a question to a female. I am sorry, but I can't answer your, this question".

Thwarted by the girl's reply, professor smith rolled on his sight around the classroom afresh, to find out if there was anyone else who could satisfy his query.

This time he located a male student Henry, who had already raised his hand in affirmation to answer the question, and allowed the lad to go ahead.

Henry answered: "pupil of a human eye".

The professor applauded for the boy's accurate answer; then turned back to Suzie and said: "look, Suzie, I am sorry but, I must tell you a couple of things:
(1) You lack knowledge
(2) you have a dirty mind and
(3) Your Expectations are too high !!!!!!!(10 times..........huh......MY GOD!!)

Types of Man. ..

Before Finding a Girl - Spiderman....


After Finding his Girl - Superman....


After the Engagement - Gentleman....

After the Marriage - Watchman....

10 years After Marriage -Doberman.

Accountant :P

Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor in India and said: "Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can get myself treated fully within this period." 

  

Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic, see that board. 

Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you only. 

Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist. I do not treat human beings. 

Man: I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come to you only...  Doctor: I can not, because you speak like me, think like me, talk like me which means you are a human being and not an animal. 

Man: I know I am a human but litsen to my complaints first: 

Doctor: OK. Tell me. 

Man: I sleep vigilantly like a dog thinking about my work load whole night. 

I get up in the morning like a horse, I go to work running like a deer 

I work all the day like a donkey 

I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday. 

I wag my tail in front of all my bosses 

I play with my children like a monkey if I get time. 

I am like a rabbit before my wife 

Doctor: are you an Accountant? 

Man: Yes 

Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should have told me in the beginning itself that you are an accountant . Come man, no one can treat you better than me. 

Wat is B.E

8 semesters are there

80GB syllabus

80MB we study

80KB we remember

80 Bytes we answer

BINARY marks we get,

The Degree finally we get is BE

That is Brain Empty (B.E)  

women

Between the ages of 15 - 20
a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild.

Between the ages of 20 - 30
a woman is like America.
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.

Between the ages of 30 - 35,
she is like India & Japan.
Very hot, wise and beautiful !!!!!!!!!

Between the ages of 35 - 40
a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.

Between the ages of 40 - 50
she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.

Between the ages of 50 - 60
she is like Russia.
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.

Between the ages of 60 - 70
a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.

After 70, they become Siberia.
Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

Strict advise

An obese blonde with unhealthy overweight, went to Doctor.

Her doctor put her on a diet with strict advise. "I want you to eat regularly for two days and then skip a day. I want you to repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Wow, this is amazing!" the doctor said, "So you did follow my instructions?"

The blonde nodded yes. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean?" The Doctor asked.

"No, from skipping", The Blonde explained.